Too Many Graves

October 29, 2023

Hello again,

Well, this week was a horrible, no-good, low-down, terrible week.  That's probably an understatement.  Actually, to be perfectly honest, the week itself was fine, but it ended in a very sad way.  We lost the boss's cat, Forest, to the pond this week.  We had a cold morning, all of a sudden after weeks of a delayed fall, and the pond froze over.  It was down to 15F right before dawn.  I was out doing the bird feeders around the boss's house around 8:30 and saw Forest walk by, doing his usual rounds.  He walked over and sniffed my finger and rubbed his cheek on it a few times, as cats are wont to do.  Then, he walked away.  I believe that within a half-hour of that point he was dead.  About two hours later the boss texted me and was worried about him because his satellite tracker showed that he hadn't moved in a few hours.  So, I dropped what I was doing and went out looking for him.  As I've explained before in these letters home, that has become a big part of my job.  When I checked the app for the satellite tracker, his position was up behind our house in the old quarry almost exactly on top of where a big coyote den is.  I figured this wasn't a good sign.  It also jarred my memory to remember that around 9am I heard a coyote howling from up at the very same spot, pretty late in the morning to be hearing one of them.  I was unnerved enough at that point that I walked back down to the house and rounded all of our cats up and let the dogs out to patrol the yard.  So, I walked up to the quarry and looked everywhere over the course of an hour and couldn't see any sign of Forest anywhere.  I then decided to head back down the hill towards the pond and then loop back towards the house to regroup.  Suddenly, as I was almost to the pond, the satellite tracker finally moved and it showed that he was within a few dozen feet of me.  This happened all the time this summer and sooner or later we'd finally catch sight of him and get him in.  Well, as it was nearing lunch, I went ahead and went back inside to eat and then search for him later.  Actually, moving into the house, it then showed that his position changed again and that he was somewhere around our house, mixed in with our mess of cats.  So, I kept up at it all afternoon once I got done eating and for the life of me was not able to find him.  At dark I went in and threw a coat on and went out and did the horses.  The boss got home at about this time and picked up the search again, as the tracker was now showing him back down at the pond.  All day long the tracker kept jumping around and changing positions and things were starting to not feel quite right.

After the boss got home, she summoned us to come out and help her look some more and we rejoined the search with flashlights.  A little later, as I was going over a point that juts out into the pond for probably the tenth time that day, I spied Forest lying on the ground, completely soaked and all stretched out like he was reaching for something, clearly lifeless.  He was at a 45 degree angle to the ground and pulled up onto a dead branch that was on the ground.  Looking back now, I think that he walked out onto the ice in the morning and fell through, probably then quickly losing his life.  It's about 10' deep in the middle and I think that he was in the water for a good part of the day and that it was messing with his satellite signal, giving us all of the false locations.  Then, once the ice melted, I think he drifted to shore and got closer to the edge.  The only thing that makes any sense is that some kind of critter then grabbed him after dark and was trying to drag him up the hill to eat him.  I had been over that same piece of ground over and over earlier in the day.  So, I called Erin over and showed her and asked her how we should break it to the boss.  Erin went for the most direct approach and just called her over.  She, of course, took it very hard and started crying uncontrollably, begging forgiveness from him for not being able to protect him from himself.  So, we finally got her up and we all walked back up to her house with Forest and laid him out in the garage for the night.  She kept the blanket over him, except for his face so that he could still see, and that made her feel a tiny, little bit better.  First thing the next morning, I dug his grave and then laid him in it for her to come down and finish covering him up.  After fifty years of living I still don't know why some things die early and others live on for an eternity.  I had no good explanations or words that could serve as some kind of salve, so Erin and I just tried to be as helpful as we could for the next few days.

So, we have another batch of pictures to accompany this subdued missive from us.  First up, a flower pot that I sent to the boss to check and see if she wanted to use it...we have many lying around everywhere!  Then, four shots from our back courtyard that allows for one to see some of the best sunsets in the world.  Next, four shots of the mesa while I was out searching for Forest, both from up in the old quarry and then also down around the pond.  Then, four shots of Forest's grave, up in our little graveyard that already has too many graves.  Next, a shot of our two most recent graves up there: our cat, Smokey, in September and our dog, Rui, back in June(two other cats are MIA in the last two months and are presumed nabbed by the coyotes).  And, lastly, two shots of that big, ol' moon that keeps rising night after night, no matter what seems to be going on down here on earth...I guess there's some kind of solace in that.

Take care.